MANAGING EXPECTATIONS FOR GEN Y AND THE REST OF US

“How we manage expectations is critical to how we pursue our goals,” wrote Alina Tugend in her New York Times column Shortcuts (1/14/12) as she searches for guidance for managing expectations on health and all things in work and life large and small. In these times of a challenging job market and financial future, the psychology of expectations is a significant influence factor in degree of happiness and satisfaction.

Citing brain research, Tugend reports that “negative feelings are much stronger than the good feelings we get when expectations are exceeded.” Further, our brain sends out messages of danger or threat when we don’t meet our expectations.

Several studies about students have found that the best way to motivate them is to set high expectations and let students think they can stretch their capabilities to reach them, even if they have not been high achievers previously. We should want to maintain these high expectations of achievement in the work world.

Tugend concludes there is no “template” to manage expectations in all situations. “It seems as if it is best to have low expectations if things are out of our control, realistic expectations for things we can control to some degree and high expectations of ourselves,” she said. She favors Mary Grogan’s view on Mindfood.com: “It is having flexibility in our expectations and being willing to change track without self-blame that has been shown to increase well-being.”

So how do we translate this for new entries into the workplace and their managers, whichever side we are on?

• When setting high expectations, foster a culture absent fear that not achieving the expectations will result in significant punishment or perceived failure if uncontrollable factors come into play. Many Gen Y/Millennials have had (and still expect) help from parents, teachers, tutors, mentors and fear failure in their eyes, so they thrive better in a supportive culture.
• Be clear and repeat expectations so they are known and not misconstrued.
• Don’t habitually set expectations and goals artificially low in order to appear to over-deliver or your capabilities are apt to be questioned.
• Don’t over-promise to please in the immediate and set yourself up for failure ultimately, which will also hinder your team or project.

Managing expectations is a delicate balance and a considered calculation is needed for each situation.

Phyllis Weiss Haserot   www.pdcounsel.com